Hef 31, Chaz 1


Through 2013, my record was still intact. Every year since 1984, I've made my own personal selection (just for sporting purposes, doncha know) for the Playboy Playmate of the Year, and every year since 1984, the readers, or the staff, or Hef himself, or whoever, picks someone else until now.

This dismal record speaks for itself. Note that all months are from the previous year's issues; the 1984 PMOY, for instance, was chosen from 1983 Playmates.

Year My pick Playboy's pick
1984 Tracy Vaccaro (October) Barbara Edwards (September)
1985 Deborah Nicolle Johnson (October) Karen Velez (December)
1986 Cindy Brooks (April) Kathy Shower (May)
1987 Laurie Carr (December) Donna Edmondson (November)
1988 Sharry Konopski (August) India Allen (December)
1989 Terri Lynn Doss (July) Kimberley Conrad (January)
1990 Tawnni Cable (June) Renee Tenison (November)
1991 Lorraine Olivia (November) Lisa Matthews (April)
1992 Samantha Dorman (September) Corinna Harney (August)
1993 Ashley Allen (August) Vickie (later "Anna Nicole") Smith (May)
1994 Alesha Oreskovich (June) Jenny McCarthy (October)
1995 Donna Perry (November) Julie Lynn Cialini (February)
1996 Lisa Marie Scott (February) Stacy Sanches (March)
1997 Karin Taylor (June) Victoria Silvstedt (December)
1998 Kimber West (February) Karen McDougal (December)
1999 Maria Luisa Gil (June) Heather Kozar (January)
2000 Alexandria Karlsen (March) Jodi Ann Paterson (October)
2001 Nicole Marie Lenz (March) Brande Roderick (April)
2002 Shanna Moakler (December) Dalene Kurtis (September)
2003 Nicole Narain (January) Christina Santiago (August)
2004 Laurie Fetter (May) Carmella DeCesare (April)
2005 Cara Zavaleta (November) Tiffany Fallon (December)
2006 Tamara Witmer (August) Kara Monaco (June)
2007 Alison Waite (May) Sara Jean Underwood (July)
2008 Tyran Richard (March) Jayde Nicole (January)
2009 Laura Croft (July) Ida Ljungqvist (March)
2010 Candice Cassidy (June) Hope Dworaczyk (April)
2011 Kyra Milan (March) Claire Sinclair (October)
2012 Rainy Day Jordan (December) Jaclyn Swedberg (April)
2013 Alana Campos (September) Raquel Pomplun (April)
2014 Kennedy Summers (December) Kennedy Summers (December)
2015 Shanice Jordyn (April) Dani Mathers (May)

Now, one could perhaps argue from two different viewpoints, yet! that I simply don't understand women, and I'd be in no position to disagree. I obviously don't know any of these women personally (the odd email doesn't really count), and certainly can't evaluate them on any criteria other than the purely superficial; then again, if other males of the species are comparably deprived, and I have no reason to suspect they aren't, I should be doing better than 0 1 for whatever, if only from a statistical standpoint.

Regular readers, if I have any, will note that this page, which dates to 1996, was originally titled Hef 13, Chaz 0. Nothing much has changed since then, except for that one lucky guess in 2014. Do I become brain-dead in the presence even the printed presence of beautiful women? And let's not have everyone write in to say that I could have cut the word "beautiful" without changing the truth of the statement, okay?

And why does this page even exist? Why would I beat up on myself for three decades? For one thing, it's funny in a rueful sort of way; for another, it gives me reason to believe that at least a few Playmates, deep down inside, actually agree with me on something.

First posted 5 May 1996; last update 23 May 2015


| Writings | Copyright © 1996-2015 by Charles G. Hill