Out here in Greater Dirtville, there persists a belief that some places are so imbued with cosmic rays, or probiotics, or something equally vague and inchoate, that your life will be improved just by being there. The most salient explanation of this mysterious property came from The Z Man, just before the end of last year:

The most famous form of magic floating around today is Magic Dirt Theory. Put that phrase in a google machine and out comes 496,000 references. In the whole wide interwebs, that's not a lot, relatively speaking, but it is not a little either. The fact that the phrase alone could enter the mainstream so easily makes clear it is not just a throwaway line. It's a real thing, at least in the minds of the believers.

For the unaware, Magic Dirt Theory claims that the soil alters behavior. Place a bunch of Bantus in Paris and they magically transform into Frenchmen. Round up residents of your typical inner city, set them up in suburbia and they become the Cleavers, just without all the honky-ism and white privilege. They will quit gang-banging, get jobs, pay taxes and join the Rotary Club.

All manner of variations on the theme obtain, but the one thing they agree on is this: transplant the fish before they can get used to that horrible water.

I was busy congratulating myself on my excellent choice of associates, having never once in my life heard something that freaking stupid outside various politically driven echo chambers, when I found this sitting at Yahoo! Answers:

Why are wealthy people taller and better looking than the poor?
Whenever I am at my grandmas house/neighborhood(nice part of town) or in whole foods I see tall, mostly white, amazingly beautiful people. Id give the average person in these places a 8/10 and id say average male 6'0" foot and average female 5,7" Then I go down by my house, or in food 4 less and it is the exact opposite. I would give the average person here a 4/10 in appearance. The average male here Id say is about 5'8" and the average female is 5'2". Why are the rich so much taller and better looking? I would not say this is a generalization, my observations have been consistent for years.

The usual chaff about "privilege" appeared shortly thereafter, and as always these days, people who invoke "privilege" are moving the goal posts for their rhetorical benefit: it is politically beneficial to appear to be downtrodden, but nobody wants to go there, so to speak, at least not for public consumption, so the baseline is redefined to equal the position of the accusers, and you, you miserable bastard, you've been lording it over the rest of us for far too long. The current fad is "intersectionality," in which you get to count so many points for each privilege you presumably lack and then multiply them together to produce victimhood beyond imagination, if not beyond calculation. Practitioners of this particular sociopathy are not always consistent: sometimes they want to be boosted out of their misery, sometimes they want you busted back to their level, sometimes they want some combination thereof, and the greatest of these is all three, enshrined as public policy.

Now if I wanted to lecture this shlub from the wrong side of town, I might tell him that he's setting himself up for one hell of an inferiority complex, that the people he thinks are "amazingly beautiful" are merely less scruffy, and that of course it's a generalization, unless he thinks he's seen everyone, which you may be certain he hasn't.

What I actually wrote, before saying the hell with it and deleting it, was this:

"So why in the actual fuck don't you move?"

And then, of course, I realized that it would not be in anyone's best interest to have a yutz like this in closer proximity.

The Vent

  9 March 2016

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 Copyright © 2016 by Charles G. Hill