On New Year's Day, I issued the de rigueur predictions for the coming year, and while they represent an accurate description of what I expect to see if not necessarily an accurate description of what I will see you should not assume that these are things I want to see.

The following, however, are, and what's more, they're in no particular order. Some time in 2006, I would like to see:

  • Under the bonnet of a Connaught Type-D Syracuse, a British quasi-supercar with a supercharged 2.0-liter V-10. (Inasmuch as I drive a car with a normally-aspirated 2.0-liter inline four, I've simply got to get a peek at this engine.)

  • Vicky Drachenberg dancing up a storm.

  • A few, or better yet more than a few, additional dollars stuffed into my pay packet.

  • The Hornets in the playoffs. (It may be too much to hope that they win the actual title, but what the heck, they were 18-64 last year.)

  • A Democrat, other than the usual sacrificial lambs, running for the Fifth District Congressional seat being vacated by Ernest Istook.

  • Ivan Reitman's My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

  • Me getting off my lazy keister and getting a wireless network installed at Surlywood.

  • Gasoline no higher than it was during World Tour '05, when I start World Tour '06 this summer. (Lower would probably be pushing it.)

  • [fill in name here, or better yet, don't] with her clothes off.

  • At least one spammer cruelly put to death.

  • The City of Oklahoma City getting the bright idea to repave NW 50th west of Pennsylvania, while I still have functional struts.

  • A $500 fine for the use of the phrase "little brown people," doubled if it's accompanied by some form of, or synonym for, the word "hate." (Example: "Of course you'd feel that way; after all, you and those [fill in political pejorative, plural] hate little brown people.") An exception should be granted for people who work for Little, Brown and Company, but they should have to present some form of ID.

  • Francis W. Porretto in hardcover. Heck, I'll take a mass-market paperback, if that's the only way.

  • Dandelion blight: it kills that particular weed and leaves surrounding vegetation intact. (I can dream, can't I?)

This is not everything I'd like to see, but it's a reasonably representative list; mere fantasies, which are highly unlikely to be fulfilled, are not included. (I'm serious about the spammer.)

And I suppose I could throw in some vague homiletic business about "world peace," but I rather suspect I have a better chance with the dandelion blight.

The Vent

  8 February 2006

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 Copyright © 2006 by Charles G. Hill