The following letter is self-explanatory, I think.

1 October 2000

Capitol Pathology Consultants PO Box 99435 Oklahoma City, OK 73199-0001
Dear Providers:
Enclosed please find your statement of 15 August and my check for $172.00 in full remittance. I apologize for not getting this to you earlier, but I was suffering from the delusion that my insurance carrier call them CFI Care might actually want to pay something towards this bill, especially since I've gone way over this year's deductible. It appears, however, that they had no such intention.
Given the inevitable time lag involved in processing these things, I have to wonder just what sort of heinous rationalization led you to call in the howling dogs from something called "CompOne Services, Ltd." The operative word here is "Ltd."; their capacity to understand these time frames is evidently exactly that. And while I can sort of understand their perspective I've seen the curriculum for the Jerry Springer Show School of Instant Infantile Gratification, and it's not pretty, believe me it reflects badly upon a serious medical practice to have to resort to tedious little thugs with form letters from A to Z and comprehension that barely manages to make it past B. Collection agencies at their best are a blight upon the landscape, and these people have a long way to go before they can aspire to the "best" category. Forty-one days from first bill to Final Notice? Not even the weasels in public utilities are so precipitate.
Anyway, thank you for your patience. Tell Dr Brumbaugh he does good work. And in future, how about waiting until something is actually "seriously delinquent" before you start inviting the Cro-Magnons to the table? Your other patients would appreciate it greatly, I'm sure.
Charles G. Hill
The Vent

2 October 2000

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 Copyright © 2000 by Charles G. Hill