Aren’t you glad you use bile?

I suspect that not every evocation of the four Greek temperaments matches up on every minor detail. Then again, this (originally posted 15 March 2003) does sound rather like me:

Your dominant humour is CholerYour humor is: yellow bile
Your personality is: choleric
Your season is: summer
Your element is: fire
Your qualities are: hot and dry
Your color is: yellow
Your organ is: the liver
Your lunar phase is: the full moon
Your opposing humor is: phlegm

When yellow bile dominates, an individual is quick to anger. Choleric personalities (cholera meaning yellow as in yellow fever) are often violent and vengeful.

Black Hellebore, which is known for its laxative properties, purges lower tracts of phlegm and choleric humors.

Avoid herbs with a bitter taste, as they are most likely to promote yellow bile.

Let the record show, however, that 13 years later I took the same test Fillyjonk did, and it scores me as 4.3 melancholic, 4.1 choleric, 2.7 sanguine and 2.1 phlegmatic. Obviously I need to work on my phlegm.

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Everything in balance

And that’s the important thing, right?

(Via Steve Lackmeyer.)

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Let’s get buzzy

Rebecca Black for BuzzFeed Music“Take a #BuzzFeedMusicBreak with Rebecca Black,” they said, and it proved to be more substantial than one might have thought, considering, well, Buzzfeed: for one thing, the “break” ran a solid 18 minutes, and for a more important thing, the two opening numbers were songs we haven’t heard before, songs we may see released one of those days. The first of them, an apparent ode to nighttime, is cheerfully catchy; she followed it with an ambiguous love song. The closer, inevitably, was “The Great Divide.” Did she work “Friday” into the program? Well, kinda sorta.

In other RB news, she’s doing a short show/meet-n-greet in Brooklyn on the 21st.

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Twice as decadent

A Web site that endures for twenty years is something unusual, inasmuch as the Web has been in common use for only about twenty-three. I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been on here for two decades. Then again, Warner Bros. has kept the 1996 site for Space Jam alive all these years, and no one was entirely sure why.

Maybe this is the reason:

Everybody get up, it’s time to slam now. Space Jam is returning to theaters for TWO WHOLE DAYS in honor of the film’s upcoming twentieth anniversary, brought to you by Fathom Events and Warner Brothers. You’re going to want to click that link right away to find out your nearest location and buy tickets before they sell out, because NOBODY doesn’t love Space Jam.

It gets better, slightly:

To compound on the nostalgia factor, the nationwide screenings will also be accompanied by even more Looney Tunes merriment: a rare big-screen presentation of the cartoon short, “I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat,” prior to the feature film.

If this sounds unbelievably vintage, you should know that “I Tawt…” is a mere child of five years, with Sylvester and Tweety dialogue scissored out of Mel Blanc’s 1950 single. (Granny, however, was voiced by the always-fresh June Foray, a mere 94 years old in 2011.)

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Low lights, big city

Holly Brockwell goes one up on Paul Simon:

Besides, she’s prettier than that Disturbed guy.

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Accentuate the negative

An Amazon reviewer described this shoe as “the most badly designed piece of footwear I have ever come across in my entire life,” and how could I not read that?

When I read that they have long straps that don’t tighten enough, I thought maybe I’d be OK since I have quite a high instep. In fact my feet are pretty chunky and wide too (I’m between a 4E and a 6E). But at their tightest pull, the straps on these STILL leave a noticeable gap above my foot, enough to stop them being secure when I walk. In fact the only way to get them anywhere near tight enough is to pull some of the velcro through the eye. And by that point, as people have pointed out, you have an absolutely ridiculous amount of excess strap to the point of it looking stupid.

So here am I, with quite a high instep, chunky and wide feet, a problem with swelling — and at least once a day, a strap pops out of position because there’s not enough of it. I ordered a pair. Problem solved. And yes, I gave him a “Yes, I found this review helpful,” because I did find it useful, even if my reaction is the exact opposite of his.

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Only slightly less Grizzly

The key to Memphis this year was supposed to be that the veterans were older, the newbies were newer, and the coach (David Fizdale) is in his first year in the top slot. (The Fizmeister was previously an assistant at Miami.) If the combination of these factors was supposed to mean that the Grizzlies were going to be easy, or at least easier, well, it didn’t happen that way in Tulsa, where the Thunder fouled all over the place, and when they weren’t fouling, they were turning the ball over. All the Griz had to do was not mess up, and for the most part, that’s exactly what they did; after falling behind 31-17 in the first quarter, Memphis buckled down and dispatched the Thunder, 110-94. It’s hard to imagine how OKC came up with 94 points after 35 personal fouls (the Griz took 44 free throws, making 34) and 28 turnovers. Then again, the Thunder roster is in decided flux, what with injuries all over the place. But it’s preseason, right? None of that stuff matters. Nor will it matter Sunday night, when the Timberwolves show up in Oklahoma City. I plan to keep telling myself that until the Real Season begins.

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Putting the “trophy” in “atrophy”

A bit from Steve Sailer while he was watching the debate (so I didn’t have to):

Hillary’s answer on how she’s shocked, shocked by Trump’s 2005 lewd comments would be pretty good except for the fact that the only reason she ever got higher in life than, say, a Congressman’s chief of staff is because she is married to Bill Clinton.

But you are supposed to vote for Hillary because she is a self-made woman. Or something.

That’s one of the weirdest things about this election: it’s obvious that Hillary’s main reason for being the Democratic nominee is that her husband is term limited out of a third term, the way Lurleen Wallace was elected governor of Georgia when George Wallace got term limited out of running. But we’re all supposed to act like Hillary has taken on the entire male sex by running for President, rather than coasting on her husband’s slipstream.

Consistent with this viewpoint, Lurleen’s 1966 general-election opponent, Congressman James D. Martin (R-Gadsden), claimed that she was merely a “proxy” candidate, a manifestation of her husband’s “insatiable appetite for power.” But truth be told, I’m pretty well convinced that Bill Clinton, at least these days, is indifferent to power, so long as he can exercise the perks; I have no doubt that were it not for the optics, Hillary would have hung him out to dry years ago.

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Don’t buy that

I have come to the conclusion that most of the savings advice I get from the bank or from the people who laugh at service my 401(k) is just barely above the level of concern trolling.

Nor am I alone in this conclusion:

I get economizing. I was taking my lunch to work loooooong before “The New Frugality.” (Though in my case, it was more a combo platter of “ugh, I hate fast food” / “I’d rather use that time to sit at my desk and surf Ravelry while I eat” / “I have some very specific health and dietary concerns that are better served by my having strict controls on what goes into my food”.) But the endless drumbeat of having fewer and fewer little pleasures in life to save all your money for some nebulous future-time … no.

What’s more, it gets worse the farther down the income ladder you go:

Also, something I read recently that struck me: some of the “Why don’t ‘poor folks’ save more money? Why do they spend their money on junk like lottery tickets and fast food and cigarettes?” is answerable by the fact that people who live in an uncertain and insecure world, who have always only known budget insecurity, are less prone to planning for a future that may never arrive — that people live in the moment because the future is hard to imagine, or something. And I can kind of see that. I think a similar thing was in play when someone I know who worked for a doctor’s office said that shortly after Sept. 11, 2001, they saw LOTS of people going off of diets (whether weight-loss or things like low-salt) because they figured, “The world’s ending, so what does it matter now?”

There’s a meme which obliquely addresses the “Why don’t” types: “Explain, then, why a burger is $1 and a salad is $7.”

And it goes even farther:

There are people like that: “Oh, spending on and having EXPERIENCES is great and wonderful and enriches your life! But spending on THINGS is a waste and just ties you more to material possessions.”

I have to wonder if any of them ever bought, say, a book.

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Sort of covered

I am generally distrustful of extended warranties on automobiles, which I have characterized in the past along the lines of “paying $3000 in advance so you don’t have to pay $3000 later.” Jack Baruth is a bit more forgiving:

As has been the case since time immemorial, and discounting various stunts by people who purchase warranties on hood-rich shitty used exotics with questionable or nonexistent histories, these extended agreements/service contracts/whatevers are best considered as a way to fix certain costs ahead of time, with the understanding that in doing so one stands a very good chance of spending more money than one would have otherwise. It’s possible to swap a junkyard V6 into an eight-year-old Accord for about $4,000. If you want to spend $2,400 against the chance of that $4,000, then I don’t think I would call you a fool for doing so.

As a Ford salesman, I rarely pushed the Ford ESP plan, even though it’s actually very good and it will dramatically reduce your cost of ownership for an even moderately troublesome car. The exception to this rule of mine was when I had customers who were clearly at the very edge of their financial ability to own the car they were purchasing. I explained to them that if they were struggling to make a $475 payment (or whatever) right now on a car with no problems, they’d have a much harder time making that payment and replacing a transmission at the same time. Few of them took my advice. Human beings are always unreasonably optimistic about the future. Were that not the case, nobody would ride a motorcycle or date Taylor Swift.

I bought two of these over the years. One of them was sufficiently restrictive in its terms to insure that it would seldom if ever have to pay off anything; the second, I canceled in the first year. I am not what anyone would call unreasonably optimistic. That said, I’m also not sitting by the phone waiting for Taylor Swift to call.

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Bobtail nagging at me

This is how I know I’m running a sleep deficit.

I’m reading a pill bottle, for a pill I’ve been taking for several years, and suddenly I begin to emit strange noises:

“Hydrochlorothiazide
Doo-dah, doo-dah
Hydrochlorothiazide
All the doo-dah day.”

Now I’ve lapsed into this before, most notably during the heyday of Sally Jessy Raphael; I suspect I picked up the habit from Foghorn Leghorn, who often just hummed for seven beats before lapsing into “Doo-dah.”

Or maybe it was Liberace:

I really miss that guy, you know?

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0 for 3

Tim Tebow’s debut for the Scottsdale Scorpions of the Arizona Fall League was, we may say, inauspicious: in three trips to the plate, he grounded out three times, though one of those times he did manage to advance a runner. What’s more, there was this:

If anyone is curious, Tebow, who started in left field, batted seventh.

Still, the Scorps won that game, 9-6 over Glendale, before 912 presumably paying fans. (Scottsdale Stadium seats 12,000.) And this happened:

Tebow’s interaction with the fans continued after the game. While he was signing autographs, a fan collapsed and appeared to suffer a seizure, and Tebow stayed by the man’s side, providing comfort until the paramedics came.

According to the Arizona Republic, the man remembered falling, but then nothing until he woke up to Tebow and another fan praying over him.

Some things will never, ever change.

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Myopes are better than your opes

Dorothy Parker certainly didn’t say so; but what if the alleged male aversion to women who wear glasses was due, not to the glasses themselves, but to those women’s mental superiority?

Glasses-wearers are smarter than those with perfect vision, according to researchers at Mainz University in Germany.

According to The Times, scientists in the department of ophthalmology at the German university found that short-sighted people were more likely to be brighter and better educated than people who don’t need glasses.

Researchers were investigating the increase in myopia across Europe, which is as high as 50 per cent in groups of professionals over the age of 40. The study looked at 3,452 people, giving them eye examinations and intelligence tests and recorded their age and level of investigation. The research paper said: “A higher cognitive ability was identified in myopes compared with non-myopes.”

Then again, crummy vision doesn’t necessarily make you a visionary:

But the experts said there was a closer link between intelligence levels and length of time spent in education.

Duration of education is also linked with near-work, where proximity to books and screens can have an impact on eye health.

I note that my own vision deteriorated to mandatory lensing level once I started believing all that crap about how smart I was supposed to be.

(Via Interested-Participant.)

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I suppose this was inevitable

It’s still, however, a bit disquieting:

But maybe that’s just me and my aversion to things hanging out of one’s nose.

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On being too old for this

On the ballot this fall in Henry County, Alabama:

Proposed Local Amendment Number One (1)

Relating to Henry County, proposing an Amendment to the Constitution of Alabama of 1901, to provide that a person who is not over the age of 72 at the time of qualifying or appointment may be elected or appointed to the office of Judge of Probate of Henry County.

This would apply to — how many people, exactly? You got it. One:

Judge [David] Money is currently in the 4th year of his first term as Probate Judge. He’s 68, but is already looking to the future.

“It gives us an opportunity that if you want to pursue another term, you can, it doesn’t necessarily say that I will, or the next one will, but it’s there if we should wish to do that,” said Judge Money.

This office has a six-year term; Judge Money’s term expires in 2018.

I’m wondering why Alabama would have a maximum age on any elective office. But clearly they do:

“Probate judge” in the AL judiciary is kind of like justice of the peace elsewhere: it’s not a lawyerly job. Here are the requirements of the office, per the AL Secy. of State:

Must have resided in the district which candidate seeks to represent for one year prior to election. No one may be elected or appointed to a judicial office after reaching the age of 70.

State legislators, I note, have no such age restriction.

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Just gimme the answer

A subtle question, made less so by its conditions:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: When do you become an adult? This is a topic for my University essay and i want to know the answer from that point of view?

In other words, he wants the answer they’re presumably looking for.

And just in case you were in doubt about that:

Pls dont use google for answering it since my teachers will check if i used google or not i need creative ideas

At the very least, this would seem to constitute an admission that his own ideas are not creative, though I suspect “He’s a lazy pillock” would probably be accepted as an alternative explanation.

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