The Chaz Awards 2004

The Chaz Awards are given annually to those people, places, events and ideas that motivated me sufficiently to start writing down stuff like this.

Most politically-incorrect ad:
General Motors' Canadian branch pitched the bottom-feeder Chevrolet Cavalier as an alternative to public transit, which, they hinted, was rife with "creeps & weirdos".
Greatest infusion of snark into a dead-tree publication:
Entertainment Weekly is making smartassedness into a minor art form. An example: "We'll admit that calling From Justin to Kelly a 'disappointment' may seem odd, since nobody had high hopes for it, box office-wise. But by the end of the movie, we were hoping Justin would be eaten by a pack of wolverines, and thus we were disappointed."
Best TV event:
Bono is effing carried away at the Golden Globes.
Top-rated collector's item of 2003:
The Ann Coulter Action Figure, with better legs than Barbie and without Al Franken as Ken.
Most elusive Christmas present:
Strom Thurmond's Chocolate Surprise.
Dumbest statement by a corporate shill:
The competition, as always, was fierce, but the nod goes to Time Warner stalwart Robert E. "Ted" Turner, who opined that the trend towards bigger but fewer media owners "is not healthy."
Most amusing political development:
General Wesley Clark claimed that Howard Dean had asked him to be his running mate, prior to Clark's own entry into the Presidential race, a claim denied by the Dean camp.
Best career move:
Phil Spector gets back into the headlines, charged with killing actress Lana Clarkson....
Worst career move:
...and yet Kelly Clarkson still lives.
Snarkiest misfeature: now issues a semi-sarcastic response if you ping them twice within thirty minutes.
Strangest photo of 2003:
What the hell does this sign mean?
Most-welcome sign of sanity on Usenet:
Not applicable, alas.

Posted 24 December 2003

Join us next year, same time, same URL (probably), for the next edition of the Chaz Awards.

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Copyright © 1997-2003 by Charles G. Hill