The Chaz Awards 2003

The Chaz Awards are given annually to those people, places, events and ideas that motivated me sufficiently to start writing down stuff like this.

Hardest lawsuit to explain with a straight face:
The estate of American composer John Cage accused British songwriter Mike Batt of plagiarism: seems his One Minute Silence sounds a great deal like Cage's 4'33". (Well, 21.98 percent, anyway.)
Worst prediction by a soi-disant political pundit:
In the Oklahoma gubernatorial race, "Brad Henry will lose, and lose big, to a GOP empty suit," said by, um, me.
Best TV event:
Roone Arledge, the ABC executive who decided that news should look like sports and sports should look like videogames, is now programming The Hades Channel.
Top-rated collector's item of 2002:
Memorabilia from the swiftly-vanished Guy Ritchie remake of Lina Wertmüller's Swept Away, the most minor major motion picture of the year.
Most elusive Christmas present:
Trent Lott's Mississippi White Chocolates.
Dumbest statement by a corporate shill:
The competition, as always, was fierce, but the nod goes to Steve Smith of Clear Channel Radio, who observed in Entertainment Weekly: "[L]ook for your closest college radio station. Give them a good listen. I guarantee you that after 30 minutes of pure hell, you will switch back to a Clear Channel Radio station because we play the hits."
Most amusing political development:
The flap over Trent Lott's alleged affection for 1948 Dixiecrat-style segregationism resulted in a plethora of puns, the best of which perhaps was Andrew Sullivan's Out, damned Lott!, and the worst of which was arguably my own Trent control unless it was Discontinued Lott.
Best career move:
Al Gore decides to sit out 2004.
Worst career move:
Walter Mondale emerges from the shadows to fill in for the late Paul Wellstone on Minnesota's Senatorial ballot, and returns with the dubious distinction of having lost on ballots in all fifty states.
Largest tempest in smallest teapot:
The "I'm not linking to you anymore" postings that permeated blogdom for one brief whining moment.
Strangest photo of 2002:
Anything showing Michael Jackson's majorly-deviant septum.
Most-welcome sign of sanity on Usenet:
Some of the worst file leeches are spending their time kvetching about yEnc rather than downloading, downloading, downloading.

Posted 23 December 2002

Join us next year, same time, same URL (probably), for the next edition of the Chaz Awards.

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Copyright © 1997-2002 by Charles G. Hill