My very own blogwar

This was waiting for me today at the Backup Blog:

I hit “admin” on your shadow blog and get back to MY blog!

What kind of a stupid, malicious, psychopathic game are you up to now, and how do you think you can possibly get away with it?

You have exactly five days — because it is a weekend and a holiday — to remove every single link, every single short link, every single category, every single tag, every single possible relationship between your blogs and mine — or I will make this into the test case to end all test cases!

You don’t just commit massive click theft and stat theft under the noses of all the supposed Guardians of the Internet and get away with it!

I still cann’t [sic] comprehend how Word Press [sic] would possibly permit something like this to go on for so long — and now becoming more and more blatant.

It is completely undermining THEIR integrity and honesty, even more than it is hurting me and others like me.

Now, no more! Enough! Basta! Find other victims to screw with.

Now let’s see the sheer enormousness of the stats over there:

Stats for

Oh, yeah, I’m stealing so much traffic.

Being the gentle soul I am, I will allow myself to believe that this is the statement of someone who had not previously noted that now inserts into the Dashboard a selection of “Latest Posts” from a sampling of their zillions of users.

Besides, it’s not like she sent me something like this:

This has gone far enough!

You will immediately remove all references to me and my work from your blogsites.

You will immediately remove all references to me and my work from your archives.

And you will personally contact Google and tell them that you have NO connection to me or my work.

You will also remove all links, tags, and pingbacks of whatever sort between your blogs or other sites and mine.

If you do not do this, I will have no alternative but to make formal complaints to Google, Linked In, Word Press, and the FCC, as well as contacting my attorney.

I realize this “SEO” nonsense has gotten completely out of hand in general. But your behavior towards me is now beyond belief.

Apparently the horrid crime committed by that blogger was to cite this person as an influence.

I believe, though, that we’ve found our next Secretary of Homeland Security.

(Moral of the story: Never get into a pissing contest with a man who’s taken diuretics for a decade.)



  1. Sheri »

    1 January 2010 · 3:03 pm

    I don’t know anything about WordPress-hosted blogs, but that’s pretty damned funny. You sick bastard!

  2. Meghan »

    1 January 2010 · 2:35 pm

    I thought as you have said , that Word Press automatically puts links to various blogs on everyone’s pages maybe I should check in case I get a letter.

  3. Sean Gleeson »

    1 January 2010 · 2:42 pm

    Dude, cut the lady some slack. Ellen Brandt has been through a lot.

  4. Jeffro »

    1 January 2010 · 3:46 pm

    And all I get are the disjointed, long winded treatises from some paranoid delusional type, or from someone promoting busty London ladies.

  5. Lisa Paul »

    1 January 2010 · 5:21 pm

    Silly me. And I thought it was a GOOD thing to have other bloggers mention you in a flattering way and link to you.

  6. CGHill »

    1 January 2010 · 5:39 pm

    I know one person to whom she delivered a comparable threat via Twitter. (She used to follow me; she dropped me shortly thereafter, complaining that some system issues I was having were somehow going to harm her. I opted not to inquire further.)

  7. Lou Shumaker »

    1 January 2010 · 6:05 pm

    *scratches head*

    Oooookay, good thing you can’t reach out and touch someone on the net.

  8. Lisa Paul »

    1 January 2010 · 8:34 pm

    Maybe she’s not paranoid. Maybe the InterWebs ARE really out to get her.

  9. Nude Provocateuse (aka The_Betty) »

    1 January 2010 · 11:25 pm

    OMG! Are you getting the same stupid emails. I think she’s tanked when she sends those emails. I’ll try to copy one of the horrendous ones she sent me and paste it here. I tried emailing her before I posted a link to her site and she ignored me, that’s why I think she has a few drinks and then starts shooting off harassing emails. That foolish woman had me following up with Google and WordPress and they just laughed. What’s up with her?

    Now tell me this, would you write a How To column and not be pleased or damn tickled if someone tried your suggestions and provided links to your site. She probably pocketed cash from people who came from my site to hers wanting to learn more. But what does she do — send me harassing emails like the one above!

    I read on LinkedIn that she use to be a magazine writer where her articles were probably covered by copyright and had a bevy of corporate attorneys to follow-up. But the internet is quite different. The internet is all about links and pings

    I can’t believe she does this to other people. I can’t believe it…. There’s gotta be a way to stop her. The emails are annoying and harassing.

    Maybe we should start a petition.

    Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone. Rest assured I’ll click back here again so you can get another hit on your stats for today.


  10. Francis W. Porretto »

    2 January 2010 · 5:42 am

    As a general rule, persons who are determined that all shall know of their advanced academic degrees are self-absorbed, terminally vain…and usually quite insecure. Miss Brandt does not appear to be an exception.

  11. zigzag »

    2 January 2010 · 11:08 am

    I would treat it as the knock on the door of Bible-thumpers —

  12. Tam »

    2 January 2010 · 7:08 pm

    Oh. Emm. Gee.

    The temptation to poke her with a stick just to get a response is almost overwhelming…

  13. Tam »

    2 January 2010 · 7:28 pm

    Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice… Beetlejuice!


    Couldn’t resist. ;)

  14. USCitizen »

    2 January 2010 · 9:40 pm

    Awesome Stat Spike!

    Keep up the good bloggin’.

  15. Daphne »

    2 January 2010 · 11:36 pm

    Your nutbags are way crazier than mine, Charles.

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