Forget the flu

While pulling some pork chops out of the freezer for dinner tomorrow, I realized that I’d given absolutely no thought to our Coming Deadly Pandemic, and decided that I was going to continue to do so, to the extent possible, on the basis that I seldom if ever have the flu anymore, and haven’t since I quit taking those free flu shots offered in the fall. On one level, this makes as much sense as arguing that you can’t be hurt in an automobile accident if you’re riding the bus, but life is annoying enough of late without worrying myself to death over, well, death, which will get here soon enough anyway. Besides, there’s already a system for avoiding the disease.

I will, however, fret somewhat should our nation’s young people come down with Never Wakes Up On Time Because I Go To Bed Too Late Due To Procrastination Disorder Hi Teachers That Recently Found Out About Blog Don’t Worry I’m Typing Your Paper As I … Type Syndrome.

And if I’ve cheesed off the Fates by posting this, you’ll know: I’ll be hacking up great heaping googobs of turbo-phlegm.

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7 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    30 April 2009 · 11:06 am

    1. I’ve been told the flu shot does very little good against this particular strain.

    2. I am really not that worried, seeing as I am virtually a hermit, don’t hug people, and tend to be kind of paranoid about hand-washing.

    3. I’m sure the news is utterly salivating about this. I wonder how soon before they realize “Badnewsomania” as a valid disorder in the DSM.

    4. I’m glad I haven’t had any students ask me if eating pork can give them swine flu. Because then I would have to put them in a headlock and give them a noogie for being willfully stupid. (I don’t pay attention to much of the news coverage, but I did pay attention to enough to get really irritated at the people freaking out because they happened to eat a sausage patty before they heard about the outbreak)

  2. McGehee »

    30 April 2009 · 1:08 pm

    I may be on the wrong side of the “Cry Wolf” wave, but experience leaves me unwilling to join the pandemic panic. Even just in the last few years I’ve watched West Nile and the Bird Flu come to naught, and since the killer bees have been in the U.S. that threat suddenly seems to be a yawner. Before moving down here I worried about fire ants, only to move into Castle McGehee and discover that Argentinian ants, benign to humans, seem to serve as a quite effective anti-fire-ant posse.

    At any rate, I now refuse to worry myself to death. If the world wants me dead, it’ll have to make some effort of its own.

  3. fillyjonk »

    30 April 2009 · 2:46 pm

    McGeehee: you forgot about SARS.

    Going over some old teaching notes from a couple years back – it seems that SARS was supposed to be the plague that was going to carry us all off.

    My campus is posting online information, including details of what you should do should you have to “shelter in place.”

    While I have to admit that being told I MUST stay home for a number of days and stay in and read books or knit for my own protection is appealing, please, not until after finals week is over.

  4. Lisa paul »

    30 April 2009 · 3:08 pm

    I’m trying to look at the bright side and remain glad that authorities are treating this seriously even though it may come to naught. Better than the converse.

    But if I have to hole up in Sonoma in our wine cave. Well, I’ve got a gun and enough Mourvedre, Cinsault, Cabernet and Grenache to last a good long time.

  5. Jeff Brokaw »

    30 April 2009 · 3:31 pm

    I’ve developed a strict “no worrying” policy.

    I’ve seen too many crises come and go to take any of it seriously.

    Maybe someday I’ll be proven wrong. In the meantime, um, I’m pretty much right.

  6. Kay Dennison »

    1 May 2009 · 12:31 am

    Approximately 30 years ago plus a couple months I was given the Last Rites of the Holy Roman, Catholic, and Apostolic Church after the docs said the IF I lived through the next 24 hours I would be in a wheelchair the rest of my life.

    In the 30+ years since, (sans wheelchair) I’ve had to calm down my children over every alleged health threat some nutty teacher warned them about or calls from well-meaning souls telling me to take care of myself.

    I shrug and ignore my doctor’s annual advice that I need to get injected with poison. (Have y’all ever read the possible side effects of that vaccine? Scary.

    Tonight, I made some excellent fresh Italian sausage from a local family business and served it with fresh spinach fettucine and Marinara sauce and a lovely salad. It was wonderful. If it kills me, I’ll die happy and won’t even need Last Rites. Living on borrowed time isn’t all bad.

  7. McGehee »

    1 May 2009 · 10:09 am

    McGehee: you forgot about SARS.

    Indeed I did. Goes to show how much impression the World-Ending Threat of the Week™ has been making on me, that I don’t even remember them all.

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