Life imitates Springfield

Malk, now with Vitamin RThe Simpsons Wiki describes this mysterious substance:

Bart thought that the school served milk, but when he cracked his knuckles, they snapped painfully. Bart was shocked about the brittleness of his bones because he had always drunk plenty of milk. However, when he looked closer at the carton, he realized it was written “MALK” instead of “MILK.”

You have to figure that Superintendent Chalmers wasn’t about to spend big on mere beverages. But that was 1995. Today:

Modern-day MALK was born in Houston in 2014. I have no idea whether it contains any Vitamin R.



  1. fillyjonk »

    26 June 2016 · 8:59 am

    But it sure looks like real-world Malk isn’t the bargain alternative that Springfield-world Malk was…$7.99 for what I’m guessing is a half-gallon?

  2. McG »

    26 June 2016 · 5:48 pm

    Looks to me like less than a quart, if I’m making out the ounce count correctly.

  3. CGHill »

    26 June 2016 · 7:30 pm

    I didn’t find a better version of the label, but I did find a nutrition label which says that a serving is 8 ounces and there are 3.5 servings per bottle. Twenty-eight ounces, therefore, which is indeed less than a quart.

  4. jsallison »

    27 June 2016 · 7:57 pm

    More to the point, I don’t think Futurama’s Bachelor Chow is the same as what you’ll find on the web if you do the appropriate search. The one you can find is more a cacophony of disparate elements and compounds beaten into submission by your local blender. And if wife-unit didn’t go all psycho-wife over wanting real ‘food-food’ I might give it a try. I’m more a fuelie than a foodie.

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