Strange search-engine queries (535)

This weekly feature looks for the best of recent search strings that brought Web surfers to this site — and, of course, promptly discards them in favor of the worst.

used datsun whitfield for sale:  Whitfield? Is that like a Sentra?

what kind of sexy, audacious, political, scatological comedy was considered fit material for translation or publication only in recent times?  Yeah, right. “Sexy” is about as “audacious” these days as the weather report in San Diego.

“lowe’s” “smut”:  Some of those tools have, um, power.

matt derives all of his utility from consuming milkshakes; he devotes his entire $20 allowance to milkshakes each week. suppose the price of milkshakes rise from $2 to $4. compute matt’s equivalent variation (ev) of this price increase:  Trust me, there will be blood.

martha’s milkshake company buys earthquake insurance from the stable ground insurance company. based on this purchase, economists would conclude that:  Matt has been drinking her milkshake, and hang the price.

jane’s candy shack was a quaint shop, in a small town, with high end items that never attracted many customers. its failure was probably attributable to failure to:  Offer milkshakes at half price.

water cooled smartphone:  Probably not intentionally so.

j has an accidental death and dismemberment policy with a principal sum of $50,000. while trimming the hedges, j cuts off one of his fingers. what is the maximum j will receive from his policy?  The insurance company will happily give him the finger.

a horrible experience of unbearable length:  The next political debate.

in this clip, we see 13-month-old felana trying to climb up the wrong end of a slide repeatedly. if she succeeds in this and similar endeavors, this will help her to:  Break her fool neck.

my gummy bear dies my unicorn ran away:  But you still have Bernie.

barry is a young gay man living in grand forks, iowa. barry has been “outed” by some kids in his class. according to research, what is barry likely facing because of this event?  A couple of unexpected prom invitations.

fingering doesnt work:  Geez, and I thought I was inept.

lino’s grandmother always said, “feed a fever; starve a cold.” why would it be advisable to increase calories when experiencing a fever?  Well, fingering doesn’t work.


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