Not dead the way you know it

If you’ve ever seen it, you don’t need to be reminded here, but just in case:

Manos: The Hands of Fate, made in 1966 by a Texas fertilizer salesman, is a legendarily awful movie about a vacationing family that stumbles upon the creepy Valley Lodge and ends up falling into a cult of ladies in gauzy underwear and a guy with a hand fetish.

It was filmed with a silent camera, so all the dialogue is dubbed. One actress broke her leg, so her character was reduced to that of a randy teen making out in a car. Poor henchman Torgo (late actor John Reynolds) was supposed to be a satyr, but just looked like a sad dude with giant knees.

Manos would have died a quiet death but for its 1993 discovery by Mystery Science Theater 3000. The cult comedy show famous for overlaying comic dialogue on bad movies catapulted it to bad-movie fame with a legendary episode. And in 2012, the three MST3K alums who formed a similar group, Rifftrax, aired Manos in hundreds of theaters around the US, with fresh jokes mocking the movie.

And now comes an even fresher punchline:

Jackey Neyman Jones, who played little Debbie in Manos, is hoping to bring the infamous movie back with a Kickstarter campaign for a tongue-in-cheek sequel, Manos Returns.

Says she in the Kickstarter pitch:

We see MANOS Returns as a companion piece to the original MANOS. It’s a comedic horror film set in a world where MANOS and his cult are real and dangerous. There will be jokes and references to the original film, of course, but our characters take everything that happens to them seriously and will react accordingly. MANOS Returns will feature many of the characters from the original MANOS, and we will introduce some new characters along with the old.

When we say MANOS Returns will be “tongue-in-cheek,” we mean “funny.” We plan for our movie to be both funny and scary. We think that’s the best way to both honor the original and embrace all the reasons why people are still fascinated by it today. Think Cabin in the Woods or Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, (thanks @MovieVigilante), not Birdemic 2.

I should probably be pleased to admit that I never even saw the first Birdemic.

Deadline is the first of March; the Kickstarter is only a couple of thousand dollars short of reaching its goal. And yes, I helped.

I swear by the knees of Torgo, that’s the original Master, Tom Neyman.

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1 comment

  1. Jackey Neyman Jones »

    25 February 2016 · 6:05 pm

    Thank you so much. Everything helps! We really appreciate the story about our project and really appreciate your support!

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