To my everlasting horror

Trump Temptation by Elijah DanielThe following statements should have been obvious, but I admit to having given the matter no thought up to now:

  1. There exists Donald Trump fanfiction.
  2. There exists sexually explicit Donald Trump fanfiction.

As Dave Barry is wont to say, I am not making this up:

He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious?

It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change.

I think I’d have bought it just for the Avril Lavigne reference.

At a buck ninety-nine for ten pages, it’s a rather pricey sort of prank, but what the hell. This is my Amazon review:

Amazingly scurrilous and vulgar, and therefore perfect for the subject matter at hand. And it’s short enough to enjoy in between — um, never mind, let’s not get too specific here. Suffice it to say that Trump fanfiction was inevitable, even (especially?) from nonfans, and this one delivers a cohesive story in full compliance with the infamous Rule 34.

At the time I submitted that review, the average was 4.7 stars out of five. We are truly doomed.



  1. fillyjonk »

    22 January 2016 · 7:41 am

    Maybe this is the real reason Trump made a comment implying “some parts of the Internet should be shut down.”

    That said, I think I liked the world a little better before Rule 34 was a thing. Or at least before it was in our faces so much. (Rule 34 probably always was a thing, given what humans are.)

  2. McGehee »

    22 January 2016 · 8:49 am

    Rule 34 somehow manages to be preceded by 33 others in its numeration, despite being the World’s Oldest Obsession.

  3. Jack Baruth »

    22 January 2016 · 9:08 am

    This most interesting thing about the Trump gay fiction is the idea that *this* is what his opposition thinks constitutes a witty riposte to Trump’s ideas.

  4. CGHill »

    22 January 2016 · 9:35 am

    Most people wouldn’t recognize a witty riposte if you spotted them ten seconds and a copy of Joe Miller’s Jests.

    If something called, say, Carly the Insatiable shows up any time soon — um, never mind.

  5. fillyjonk »

    22 January 2016 · 10:06 am

    It probably already has.

    I suspect there’s also some kind of Bernie Sanders fan fiction out there too. (shudder)

  6. McGehee »

    22 January 2016 · 11:21 am

    Just find one starring Radagast the Brown, and change all the names.

  7. ETat »

    22 January 2016 · 10:41 pm

    Erica, you scare me.
    Watching the debate: about everyone on the stage (except Dr. Carson and Ohio Gov.) are producing witty riposte to “Hell TouPee”. Not that difficult, considering the bar.

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