You and your farging boilerplate

You’ve all seen this at the bottom of the email:

This message contains information which may be confidential and/or privileged. Unless you are the intended recipient (or authorized to receive for the intended recipient), you may not read, use, copy or disclose to anyone the message or any information contained in the message. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender immediately by reply e-mail and delete the message and any attachment(s) thereto without retaining any copies.

“Oh, yeah, bite me,” I mumble, and hit the delete key. This is because I am not so eloquent as LeeAnn:

I so want to tear this down bit by bit but I’ll stick to the main sticking point that stuck with me which is: if this is so privileged and confidential, and is not to be read unless I am who I’m supposed to be and since no NAME IS GIVEN in the “to” section, why do you put all this warning-ness at the very very very end? How, pray tell, did I get down to this vital admonition unless I READ the goddamn thing? Was I to be psychically drawn to the severity of this? Were there such bad voodoo vibes that I should have felt a great disturbance in the Force and been driven back by rampant mixed metaphorism?

It gets better after that, but by now you should have left here to read the whole thing anyway.

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