Can two be as bad as one?

Remember the old “Advice to the Lovelorn” columns? Useless in the Internet age, says Robert Stacy McCain:

Whereas in the Dead Tree Age, it was possible to be clueless about sex and relationships, in the Information Age, the only clueless people are (a) stupid or (b) quasi-autistic nerd types with impaired social perception. Everybody else is able to Google up their own particular issue and figure it out. By 2006, all potential relationship problems (“Is my penis too small?” “If you have to ask, the answer is yes.”) had already been answered somewhere on the Internet.

The only reason anyone would still be publishing an online Relationship Advice column in 2015 is to serve that niche readership of Pathetic Nerds Who Just Don’t Get It.

A sample of PNWJDGI:

Q. I think the attractive woman in the next cubicle likes me. How do I find out for sure?

A. No, she doesn’t like you. Nobody likes you. You are an ugly man with Asperger’s Syndrome and nobody likes you. This woman on whom you have a sick fixated obsession doesn’t like you. If she smiles at you, that’s because you’re creeping her out. You make her nervous, staring at her constantly. Her smile is a sort of defensive shield. She has nightmares about you stabbing her in the parking lot, you disgusting weirdo. Leave her alone. Leave women alone, period. Don’t even look at a woman.

No, I didn’t ask that. For one thing, there is no “next cubicle” involved.



  1. McGehee »

    19 April 2015 · 1:58 pm

    I feel sorry for her if her response to being creeped out is to smile– unless it’s accompanied by derisive laughter.

    Those who rail against “blaming the victim” refuse to acknowledge that the first duty of a victim is to deter the victimizers by whatever means are available. In my mother’s case it was a long, indignant stare at the drunken sailor who came onto her in San Francisco one night. Sobered him right up.

    Predators don’t target the strong, healthy or brave.

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    26 April 2015 · 9:13 pm

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