This may not garner more dates

I do not understand this request in the slightest:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: How can I find a surgical body modification artist?

And this is the modification he desires:

I would like to ask a body modification artist if it would be possible to remove my testicles and use my scrotum to create a vagina below my penis. If it is possible, I’d ask if they have a rough guess as to cost. Any help in finding either the answers or an artist would be appreciated.

Please don’t tell me to think about it or give me alternative. I’ve thought about this and alternative for years and still have more time to think about it. Please only reply with answers, thank you.

Construction of the item desired is not, I am given to understand, overly difficult, though usually persons undergoing the procedure are having all the previous hardware — the exterior bits, anyway — removed. Last year I helped to fund one such procedure; the patient had asked for $6000, which she said was the amount not covered by health insurance. (In other news, some insurance policies apparently cover this sort of thing.) A subsequent patient without such coverage said that the price was closer to twenty grand, and was asking for fifteen.

While I can deal with those folks, I’m having trouble with the concept of Hermaphrodite After The Fact. British wiseguy Will Self wrote a couple of stories on the subject, neither of which could be said to end particularly happily. For now, I am working under the assumption that somebody told the questioner to go screw himself, and instead of taking umbrage he decided to fantasize about it.

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4 comments

  1. Georganna Hancock (@GLHancock) »

    11 January 2015 · 2:31 pm

    This ditz doesn’t know a tatoo from plastic surgery, apparently. Also, he’d be missing the all-important little button that’s the source of a woman’s orgasm … if that’s what he/she seeks. May give “dry hump” a new meaning, too, while demeaning the term “artist”.

  2. CGHill »

    11 January 2015 · 3:11 pm

    Then there was Dick for a Day, a compilation of musings by women over what they would do had they possessed male hardware on a short-term basis. Some were very funny, some were utterly depressing.

  3. Georganna Hancock (@GLHancock) »

    11 January 2015 · 3:28 pm

    Wow! I miss all the good stuff!
    I’m not so enthralled with the hardware as much as all the perks and advantages in life that the gender bestows. Though, fewer bladder infections and the pee position options are enticing.
    And I’d much rather have one than be one, of course!

  4. McGehee »

    11 January 2015 · 4:09 pm

    Having one and being one can be even more fun, once in a great while. Like, in one’s early 20s.

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