The ultimate automotive click bait

Readers of commercial sites will tell you that they want long, drawn out, involved pieces with plenty of cultural references and historical perspective. Of course, they lie through their teeth:

Don’t get me wrong; I am obsessed with putting high-quality, hype-and-PR-free, ethically outstanding articles on TTAC’s front page as often as possible. That doesn’t mean there’s a lot of money in the hopper to do so, however. More annoyingly, those articles almost never do the kind of numbers that you could show off to an advertising sales department or senior management. The readers want click-friendly content more than they want to be lectured or taught or even informed. Even if they say they don’t. Even if individual readers truthfully don’t. As a group, they want an idealized article which could be summarized as

A Naked Playboy Playmate Drunk-Drove A Diesel Wagon Off A Giant Ramp While The LAPD Gave Chase. What Happened Next Will Touch Your Heart. (NSFW Photos Of Gorgeous Women And Diesel Wagons Inside.)

and if you don’t give it to them, the stats will sag and before you know it, you’re too insignificant for Alexa to rank you. And then, as Bill Paxton says in Aliens, IT’S GAME OVER, MAN!

Unless this is a brown diesel wagon with a manual transmission, I’m not interested. (Much.)

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