There’s one in every rush hour

Why is this annoying bint always right in front of you at Bob’s Burger Barn?

“What’s wrong with you people?! I just sat in the drive thru for ten minutes and now I have to come in here because you guys can’t understand f*cking English! I ordered this burger with NO ketchup but of course I get it with gobs of ketchup. Unbelievable. This happens every f*cking time!”

Wait, it’s unbelievable yet it happens every time? Hmmm. And your ketchup specifications are this important to you, yet you continually come to the one place in town that apparently has a ketchup obsession? There are literally 6 other fast food joints within a 2 mile radius, but here you are at the one place that screws up your order “every f*cking time.” Interesting. Logical thinking isn’t exactly your forte, is it?

Of course not. She doesn’t give a ruddy rat’s rear about the burger or the ketchup; she just wants you to know how superior she is.

“No, I don’t want a new burger. Give me your name and the number to corporate. I’m sick of this sh*t. Give me my money back and the number to your corporate office! Why can’t I ever f*cking get good customer service?!”

Because you don’t deserve it. At the moment, you’re lucky you’re not staring at point-blank range into the bottom of the fry vat.

Next time, order it with no mayo. You’ll be much happier, and the counters will be much quieter.



  1. fillyjonk »

    6 November 2013 · 12:04 pm

    I don’t know whether to envy that woman – because she apparently has such a blessed life that a messed-up fast food order rises to The Worst Possible Thing Ever – or to pity her, because apparently she has so little control in her life that it seems reasonable to berate a minimum-wage-earning teen over it.

    I dunno. I’d just scrape the damn ketchup off, myself, and plan on packing a peanut butter sandwich for lunch the next day.

  2. Sharp Little Pencil »

    9 December 2013 · 10:47 pm

    My sister is “one of those.” She told me she was thinking of “moving to the next county (in Virginia – they’re rich) because when I pull up to the McDonald’s drive-thru, the ‘damned Pakis’ (HER WORDS, NOT MINE) don’t know how to speak English and they’re taking all our jobs.

    I asked her if any of her kids had applied at McDonald’s and she said no, but it was “the principle of the thing.” I told her if she had principles, she’d consider the poor person stuck in that crappy job and shut up.

    And SHE has a Masters degree. Great piece!! Roger Green sent me. Amy Barlow Liberatore, Madison, WI USA

  3. CGHill »

    9 December 2013 · 11:09 pm

    Weirdly, what few “damned Pakis” we have around here are fairly doggone erudite.

    I worked at Mickey D’s briefly in the early 1970s. I don’t remember ever encountering anyone quite as abrasive as Little Miss Bint there. Maybe it was just a quieter time back then.

RSS feed for comments on this post