District of Clumsier

Robert Stacy McCain had to stay over the night before last in Washington, and getting there was decidedly less than half the fun:

Raining cats, dogs and other small mammals in the D.C. area today. This means traffic was even worse of a mess than usual. Washington is full of people who can’t drive worth crap on a clear sunny day, and a rainstorm is an almost insuperable challenge for these incompetent vehicular menaces. The District of Columbia is the only place in America where they offer the driver’s exam in braille, and the laws against “discrimination” are so stringent in Washington that it’s considered a human-rights violation to deny a license to the mentally handicapped.

Just once in my life, I’d like to hear someone argue that “the drivers where I live are just fine, thank you very much.”



  1. McGehee »

    8 December 2011 · 8:26 am

    If I define “where I live” as my house, I can make that claim.

  2. Roger Green »

    8 December 2011 · 8:32 am

    But they are not.

    Exhibit #37 – http://blog.timesunion.com/gettingthere/are-urban-bicyclists-just-elite-snobs/2300/ – especially the comments.

  3. CGHill »

    8 December 2011 · 8:36 am

    A lot of anti-bicycle sentiment here as well. As a just-short-of-avid cyclist in my younger years, I never quite developed that level of disdain.

  4. Teresa »

    8 December 2011 · 2:50 pm

    I have driven quite a bit in St. Louis and Chicago having lived in both places. I have driven while traveling in The DC area including Baltimore, Orlando, Atlanta and San Francisco. By far and away the worst place I have ever driven is the MA – RI area. No matter the weather, time of day, or anything else – I never know what these people will decide to do when they are driving.

    — Stop in the middle of the road to look around? Sure thing.

    — Back up down the highway because you missed the exit? Go for it.
    — See a car coming in the opposite direction in the middle of the night that has a left turn signal on and you are the only other vehicle driving in the opposite direction? Well, doesn’t everyone come to a stop when they have the right of way to let the other car make the left turn?

    That is merely the tip of the iceberg. The best thing about the trip to the left coast and SF bay area? Driving was so relaxing. Oddly enough the drivers are fairly sane out there.

  5. Ric Locke »

    8 December 2011 · 8:03 pm

    Teresa: That’s a good ante, but I’ll see your MA-RI and raise you Pittsburgh, PA.

    Outside the urban area I never had a problem — Pennsylvania drivers are as good as any anywhere. But if you go to Pittsburgh and have occasion to take a freeway onramp, do not, in God’s name DO NOT take your eyes off the car ahead of you. There is approximately a 50-50 chance that the driver will stop at the foot of the ramp and look both ways before entering traffic.

    And if you don’t believe me, I sincerely hope your air bags work so you can come back and apologize.


  6. Teresa »

    9 December 2011 · 3:37 pm

    Ric – they do that here too all the time all over the two states. I had to make the list short enough for a comment…LOL.

    They also decide ON THE RAMP that they might be on the wrong one and make a 3 point u-turn and drive the wrong way back down the ramp too.

    Also – those double yellow lines… they are for wimps Real MA-RI drivers totally ignore them and take hairpin turns on the wrong side of the road because… who could possibly be coming the other way?

    Oh and is there an obstruction in your lane??? Well, oncoming traffic will just have to get out of your way as you go around it.

    I could go on but I think I’ve scared myself enough for one day.

  7. Ric Locke »

    10 December 2011 · 12:12 am

    Teresa — I’m actually more familiar with western MA than eastern, and out there it isn’t so bad. They actually have pickup trucks, though I don’t think a one-ton dually would fit on the roads, and I never had any trouble driving there, even with New York plates on the rent-a-car.

    Possibly it’s just that there’s something about the Atlantic Ocean that induces insanity. Have you ever spent any time in South Carolina?


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