Not sold as a bacon alternative

Soylent Green crackersThen again, the reason it’s being mentioned here is simply that it’s being sold at all:

The Parallax Corp. introduces the officially licensed Soylent Green, a high-energy plankton food. The all-natural crackers, which contain real high-energy plankton, are made in the U.S. at a small-batch gourmet food manufacturing plant.

Plankton. Sure. That’s what they told us in the commercials. And if it has such high energy, how did you ever catch it in the first place?

“We worked to create a collectible box that looks just the way Soylent Green would have been packaged,” says Parallax president David Garth, “and the box design recreates the utopian propaganda of an evil mega-corporation with the feelings of despair and hunger depicted in the movie.”

May we suggest a lovely beverage — perhaps a vintage Agent Orange?

(Via Tim Blair.)



  1. fillyjonk »

    31 August 2011 · 2:29 pm

    I know a lot of people make fun of that movie for being overblown and melodramatic, but it took me a long time to stop twitching and feeling sad after I saw it.

    And it took a really long time before I could listen happily to Beethoven’s 6th symphony again…

  2. CGHill »

    31 August 2011 · 5:37 pm

    Well, it was hardly the Feel-Good Movie of the Year.

  3. Mel »

    31 August 2011 · 8:09 pm

    And hardly the Taste-Good movie of the year either.

    … sorry. breaking in a new browser on this end.

  4. CGHill »

    31 August 2011 · 8:35 pm

    Down in the lower reaches of the front panel is a little round seal-like device that says “PEOPLE FOOD.” How comforting.

  5. fillyjonk »

    1 September 2011 · 7:39 am

    I have to admit, there have been a few crackers I’ve tried over the years where I wondered if they actually were “people food” or not…

  6. Steve Lackmeyer »

    1 September 2011 · 9:59 pm

    It’s people. Yum.

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