The best-unlaid plans

Some nimrod spammed Roberta X with this tedious example of just-below-the-navel gazing:

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

Yeah, yeah, we get it. Your anaconda don’t want none. (Little worm’s probably in hibernation due to lack of nourishment.) As you might expect, this was preceded by a URL which I see no reason to mention here, though he’s easy enough to find. (Hint: It’s not GodsGiftToWoman.org.)

There are, I propose, precisely two ways in which he could have reached this conclusion:

  • It corresponds to his own actual dating experience, in which case he should probably wonder how come he’s consistently attracted to all these unworthy individuals; or
  • It does not correspond to his own actual dating experience, in which case the data were presumably obtained via rectal extraction.

More subtle than I’d ever be, Roberta X simply replied: “Boycott away, dood! Please.

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9 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    23 August 2011 · 7:59 pm

    He should TOTALLY hook up with that woman on HuffPo who wrote about how women who like cats or cupcakes – no matter what else they may do with their lives – are insufficiently tough and feminist.

    Those two sound MADE for each other.

    Or at least, they deserve each other…

  2. Gina »

    24 August 2011 · 2:05 am

    Oh dear. This again?

    Yes. We American women are bad. Stay away, please. And I mean it.

    This is why I don’t advertise. That, and I ain’t looking.

    When I did try, this is pretty much what I attracted. Yeah? No.

    Not interested. And that’s sad, really. All I was looking for was someone to have fun with, and I got stuck with the above.

    Guess it goes both ways.

  3. Tatyana »

    24 August 2011 · 6:03 am

    Crowds of those (“schools”? “mobs”? “divisions”?) wander around the net, hollering their battle cry. I’d met a lot of them at neoneocon at the time I hung around. They protest too much, I think.

  4. Baby M »

    24 August 2011 · 6:58 am

    The guy who’s advocating a boycott of American women is also simultaneously flacking a website selling mail-order brides from India. Mere coincidence? I don’t think so.

  5. fillyjonk »

    24 August 2011 · 7:18 am

    Heh, Baby M. I was thinking “This guy’s attitude sounds just like that of the guys who talk about how WONDERFUL it is to import mail-order brides from somewhere else, preferably somewhere where women have different expectations than they do in the U.S.”

    I don’t think it’s coincidence AT ALL.

  6. nightfly »

    24 August 2011 · 1:08 pm

    +1 on the headline, sir. Dawn Eden would be proud of you.

    Regarding the content – like so many other things, there’s a Twain quote for this. “‘Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

  7. nightfly »

    24 August 2011 · 1:10 pm

    Case in point – based on my comment structure it sounds as if I’m applying the Twain quote to YOU, and not to the spammer. The exact opposite of my intent: spamboy is cuckamonga and that’s that.

    (Duhhhhhhhh, he explained.)

  8. McGehee »

    24 August 2011 · 1:24 pm

    At least he didn’t claim to be 22, and that all of his children were 18 or older.

    Saw that one in a personals thing featured at Funnyism.com (actually via a phone app).

  9. CGHill »

    25 August 2011 · 5:30 pm

    Just for reference, a fellow identifying himself as “John Rambo” — yeah, right, he’s probably constructed more along the lines of Arthur Rimbaud, albeit without the lyricism — dropped the following comment here, which duly landed in the spam trap.

    OH HOW CUTE! POOR WITTLE BABY IS UPSET BECAUSE MEN ARE BOYCOTTING HER!
    BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

    The guy did go to some effort to obscure his origins — the IP doesn’t translate to anything recognizable — which suggests a serious lack of testicularity. Those bad ol’ domestic women must really spook him. (And really, who else would threaten him? Men? Men yawn and reach for the remote.)

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