I hate to go all ¿Quién es más macho? on you here, but Robert Stacy McCain has a list of preferred, um, mishaps to befall New York Times columnist David Brooks, and I’m trying to decide which of them is the worst:
- “wrapped in bacon and dumped into a tank full of hungry sharks”;
- “loaded aboard an Air Force C-130 and air-dropped over Afghanistan without a parachute”;
- “lashed to a tree in the Alaskan wilderness as wolf-bait”;
- “dumped naked into an alligator-infested swamp in the backwoods of Louisiana”.
Of this quartet, only #2 presents the possibility of not being eaten, unless Alaska is breeding vegan wolves these days.
Males beyond a certain age — based on my experience, I’d say six and a half years — are often given to such horrific musings. Jamie Kitman, in the July Automobile, describes one such scheme, as concocted by the magazine’s founder, the late David E. Davis Jr.:
After David’s death, a Facebook acquaintance wrote about Davis’s recent unkind comments about his one-time protégé, made on a weekly automotive webcast, in which he fantasized about a FedEx plane whose cargo doors accidentally open to drop a grand piano on a farm in central Michigan, leaving only a grease spot where our own — hell, his own — Jean Jennings once stood.
TTAC has a link to the original, though the video seems to have turned into a grease spot all by itself.