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The Professor reports that nearly 300,000 women last year sought breast implants, a statistic Robert Stacy McCain does not in any way endorse:

I have long campaigned to discourage breast-enhancement surgery. While a trend away from mammoplasty — a return to the natural order, breast-wise — will likely lead to a relative scarcity of extra-large breasts, our patients will be able to compensate for the resulting shortage of C- and D-cups by staring twice as long at A- and B-cups.

Dan Collins will explain that business about “our patients.”

As a practicing leg man, I am not subject to this particular affliction. (Which is a lie, but you knew that.) That said, I must remind you that by far the nicest, um, enhancement I’ve ever been privileged to see at close range was a reduction: from double Ds and backaches to a cheerfully perky just-this-side-of-C. It was the kind of work that corroborates one’s belief in private-sector medicine, among other things.

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6 comments

  1. Charles Pergiel »

    23 March 2011 · 7:37 pm

    Just which side of C would that be?

  2. CGHill »

    23 March 2011 · 8:46 pm

    Slightly below. (The only point of comparison I have these days is myself, and while I am at least slightly moobular, I’m not remarkably so.)

  3. Lynn »

    23 March 2011 · 9:23 pm

    Over about 20 years I went from a B to a D just by eating enough to gain 40 pounds. It was much easier than surgery.

  4. fillyjonk »

    24 March 2011 · 7:48 am

    I would be inclined to think, based on personal experience, that it’s more of a challenge to find flattering clothing the larger a cup size goes. I mean, it’s hard enough for me to find blouses that fit properly and I’m more within what used to be the “typical” range. And the rest of my body is proportional to my chest. I would think that Es and Fs and all those higher letters…especially if you were a slimmer woman to begin with, and have surgically altered your proportions….would really have a hard time finding things with tailor’s darts in the right places.

    Or maybe there are specialty shops for that that I’m not aware of. Or maybe a person who chooses to have enhancement isn’t also the kind of person who looks at herself in the mirror after she’s dressed for the day to verify the outfit she’s selected won’t get people unduly staring at her chest…

  5. Charles Pergiel »

    24 March 2011 · 9:36 am

    Lynn – very funny!

    Fillyjonk – “maybe a person who chooses to have enhancement isn’t also the kind of person who looks at herself in the mirror after she’s dressed for the day to verify the outfit she’s selected won’t get people unduly staring at her chest…”

    That confused me almost as much as Dustbury’s motto, but I figured it out, eventually.

  6. fillyjonk »

    24 March 2011 · 10:54 am

    uh, I’m still trying to figure out that motto. Way too many multiple negatives and the overly-linear part of my brain goes “does not compute” and just rejects comprehension.

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