Some people have no business breeding

And near the top of that list, I’d put the proponents of this alleged research:

Are the long nights and financial burdens of parenting really worth the emotional benefits? New research is saying no: When confronted with the real economic costs of having children, most parents will exaggerate their happiness to validate their choice to have children.

“Many people believe that to be truly fulfilled in life, it is necessary to experience the joys of parenthood. Children are considered an essential source of happiness, satisfaction, and pride,” Richard Eibach and Steven Mock of the University of Waterloo, wrote of their study in the March 2 issue of the journal Psychological Science. “However, the idea that parenthood involves substantial emotional rewards appears to be something of a myth.”

Shorter version: “But what’s in it for me? I mean, I am the center of the known universe, after all.”

Which is not to say that they’d thought this all the way through or anything:

Do you reckon the authors of this research considered the personal implications? Even assuming they are all childless … they were all children, once. Horrible, expensive, and emotionally draining children. Do they believe that their own dear mothers were irrational, too? Do they believe that they weren’t worth the money and effort?

Of course not. They believe that they’re just hunky-dory. Exceptional, even. After all, look at this valuable research that they’re doing.

One nice thing about God is, while He can’t help but overhear chatter about “If we have a baby, we won’t be able to afford arugula with our salads anymore,” He doesn’t respond with a lightning bolt to the gonads.




  1. McGehee »

    7 March 2011 · 11:09 am

    Those researchers just aren’t approaching it correctly; they should look at the more recent definition here.

  2. McGehee »

    7 March 2011 · 2:01 pm

    …or better yet, here, for those using those bulky full-size computers that don’t fit in their pocketses.

  3. Information Intake »

    7 March 2011 · 6:55 pm

    […] Some people have no business breeding […]

  4. fillyjonk »

    7 March 2011 · 8:54 pm

    I think the bigger observation here is that people feel the need to justify the particular choices and circumstances of their lives, and an awful lot of them seem to do it by running down the way other people live.

    If I had $5 for every time I heard some variant of “You poor thing, why aren’t you married?” followed by the woman ranting about what a slob her husband is, I’d be writing this from a villa in Tahiti.

  5. Linda »

    7 March 2011 · 10:00 pm


    Thanks for the link, man. You are right. Everything’s hunky dory for them, cuz, well, they exist.

    Screw the nonexisting futre children! They suck!


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