Not authorized by the Byrds

Frozen-pizza maker DiGiorno is catching some flak from the Eat Healthy And Die Anyway crowd for its combo box containing both a pizza and a slab of chocolate-chip cookie dough. (And not just any chocolate-chip cookie dough, either: this is the genuine Nestlé Toll House product, Nestlé by sheerest coincidence having recently acquired the DiGiorno line.)

I was more interested in DiGiorno’s other announcement: there will also be a pizza/”wygnz” combo, which is closer to something I might actually buy. Still, the idea of “wyngz,” which presumably look sort of like wings but aren’t, is a bit off-putting. Turns out, though, there’s a Federal definition of “wyngz”:

[USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service] has a standard of identity in Title 9 of the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), Section 381.170(b)(7) that defines a poultry “wing.” The use of the term “wing” cannot be used on any poultry product unless it complies with this standard of identity. In comparison, FSIS allows the use of the term “wyngz” to denote a product that is in the shape of a wing or a bite-size appetizer type product.

This being an actual Federal regulation, there are five subparagraphs to further nail things down.

And to think we used to agonize over McNuggets.

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6 comments

  1. McGehee »

    27 January 2011 · 8:09 am

    Does the federal definition of “wyngz” specify that they must contain chicken? Or even food?

  2. McGehee »

    27 January 2011 · 8:10 am

    Oh, and the title of your previous post almost had me searching my house for hidden cameras — but, as they used to say 60 years ago, “To err is Truman.”

  3. CGHill »

    27 January 2011 · 8:15 am

    “Wyngz,” by law, are composed of chicken, and white chicken at that, though they need not be derived from actual wings.

  4. Jeff Brokaw »

    27 January 2011 · 10:56 am

    It’s pretty funny – our government thinks it is helping us by sanctioning the production of food-like substances and making damn sure you can’t call ‘em “wings” but hey, go ahead and eat this pasty shit that we compress and squeeze out into various shapes – including like a real chicken wing!

    It’ll be fine. Really.

  5. Nicole »

    27 January 2011 · 1:40 pm

    Now I need to buy DiGiorno pizza. And eat the cookie dough raw.

  6. Dan B »

    28 January 2011 · 1:44 am

    Nicole, you’d be better serve by getting the cookie dough without the pizza. Who wants pepperoni-flavored chocolate chips?

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