The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

27 November 2004

The National Blackguard Association

The Armchair Athletes' NBA Boycott (slogan: "53 disgusted fans and counting") has apparenly inspired's Sally Allen:

Imagine, a sports world minus the whining and wailing where character counts more than championships and consumers can make the call simply by changing channels or closing their wallets.

No longer will children's attitudes be poisoned by greedy, egocentric, semi-psychotic athletes and their vicious, bickering, tantrum-throwing tirades.

Gullible parents won't be guilt-tripped into buying $200 basketball shoes packaged in little black briefcases as if to create the ultimate Nike-contract illusion.

And, God willing, no longer will NBA franchise-wannabes be lured to the Ford Center's annual overpriced October exhibition game.

Imagine, worry-free watching of sporting events. Spending quality time with our families sans explanations of wardrobe malfunctions, sexual assault charges, naked women in men's locker rooms and/or reassuring your 10-year-old that four-hour erections most likely won't ever happen to him.

Me, I've had no trouble ignoring the NBA ever since they decided that it was perfectly reasonable to let a team in Utah be called the Jazz. And I speak as someone who once lived in Los Angeles and never once saw a lake.

Posted at 5:54 AM to Net Proceeds

did you happen by La Brea? I hear that is quite a "lake."

Posted by: rammer at 10:57 PM on 27 November 2004

Most of L.A.'s lakes are in the hills, behind dams. Which doesn't explain the full range of roundball players' language, but it's a start.

Posted by: McGehee at 7:24 AM on 28 November 2004

La Brea? It's the pits.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:26 AM on 28 November 2004

As an old Laker fan, I must defend the good name (though not the honor) of that Minneapolis original.

- Named Minneapolis Lakers in reference to the large cargo-carrying ships that traversed the Great Lakes.
- The Lakers franchise predates the NBA. The Minneapolis Lakers' first season was 1947-48, when the team entered the National Basketball League.
- 1965-68: Jack Kent Cooke Purchases Lakers For $5 Million from Bob Short.

Now the Rams on the other hand... how many rams can there be in Cleveland, L.A. or St. Louis?

Personally, I like the idea of all pro team names remaining with the city instead of moving with the franchise.

Posted by: MikeH at 8:28 AM on 29 November 2004

Same here. When the Jazz left New Orleans, they should have adopted something appropriate to Salt Lake City: sand fleas, teetotalers, skiers, something like that.

Then again, the old Brooklyn (Trolley) Dodgers fit in well when they moved to Los Angeles; there may be no trolley running to Chavez Ravine, but there's no shortage of traffic one must dodge.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:41 AM on 29 November 2004