The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

29 October 2004

We pick 'em: state and local

US Senator

I don't know which is more disheartening: the fact that reliably-loose cannon Tom Coburn (R) is still at large, or the fact that once-sensible Brad Carson (D) has reached new heights of shrillness in his efforts to get elected. My own political leanings are somewhere in between the two, and my fondness for gridlock would normally push me in Carson's direction no way the GOP is going to lose the House this year, which means that a Democratic-controlled Senate would have great amusement value but geez, what a whining kvetch Carson is these days, and even Coburn's lunatic claim that parts of Little Dixie are overrun with busty lesbian ninja pirates, or some such nonsense, doesn't make Carson look any saner. Under these circumstances, the least I can do is pick someone who isn't either of them, which leaves me with Sheila "Mobile Receiver" Bilyeu (I), and frankly, I fear for a world in which I can be left with Sheila Bilyeu.

Corporation Commission

I have no real gripe with incumbent Denise Bode (R) her longtime ties to the oil and gas industry are hardly news but challenger John Wylie (D), who publishes a newspaper in Oologah and who, as a reporter, covered public utilities for many years, might shake up the often-somnolent Corp Comm, which I suspect might be good for all of us.

House District 5

Who is Bert Smith (D)? Damned if I know. But he's not Ernest Istook (R) either, and with Frank Robinson off the ballot, not being Istook is probably enough to give Smith the nod. (And how many other districts can offer Bert vs. Ernie? I tell you, there are reasons to love this place.)

State House District 87

Don't get me wrong. I like Trebor Worthen (R), even if he is the evil spawn of an incumbent. But John Morgan (D) is a friend and a neighbor, and, well, I do have one of his yard signs. Besides, Worthen's most recent mailing showed entirely too many signs of "Well, maybe this will work," noting that Morgan is presumably a gay-marriage advocate (I dunno, though he did get an endorsement from and worse, Morgan is (gasp!) a lawyer. And I do know this much: John Morgan doesn't fret if you spit watermelon seeds on his shoes. For now, let's leave Trebor Worthen on his side in a cool, dark room until he matures.

Judicial Retention (eight seats)

As noted before, I'm not overly fond of retention ballots. Applying my usual rule if his name rings a bell, vote him down all these guys get a pass, because I don't recognize a single one of them.


I'm still peeved with current Sheriff John Whetsel (D) for trying to wangle a sales-tax increase for his little empire. On the other hand, I know nothing about Stuart Earnest (R), unless this is the same Stuart Earnest who used to be a county commissioner, in which case he's really, really old.

County Clerk

There's one thing I like about incumbent Carolynn Caudill (R): she caught hell for supporting Jim Roth, once her deputy, for county commissioner, what with Roth being gay and worse, being a Democrat, and she shrugged it off. Enough, I think, to keep her around, especially since I haven't seen any compelling reason to vote for challenger Lillie R. Hastings Buckner (D).

I reserve the right to change my mind between now and Tuesday, but I don't think I will.

Posted at 4:19 PM to Soonerland

WHAT? Busty lesbian ninja pirates? Where? Where?

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 6:15 AM on 30 October 2004